Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating

“You’re a blushing school girl. Or a blithering idiot. One of the two.” (one of my brilliant friend’s quote).

I vote blithering idiot.

While walking home with a friend, last night, a very handsome, very tall, very square-jawed guy with piercing blue eyes, walks out of the bar and walks past us, checking his phone messages.

Our conversation, taking its obvious and natural course, turns into how I plan on spending the weekend making barbecue. I mean, what else would two girls in high-heels be talking about at 2 o’clock in the morning?

Square-Jaw, for some reason only God in heaven knows, has turned around, and is now standing behind me, listening to this INSANITY. Listening to me yammer on about GRILLING and PORK. And then turns to me, in an attempt to start a normal, human-on-human conversation, and says, “You grill?“

Clearly incapable of having a homosapien-like conversation, I respond, “Yeah, I guess, if I need to. Sometimes. I mean….uh, yeah. I guess. Uh, yeah.“

Square Jaw, somewhat taken aback, but still hopeful of finding intelligent life in his way home, tries again, “I hear guys talk about that stuff all the time, but never a girl.“

As I start blushing furiously FURIOUSLY (like my head is about to explode off my neck) I respond, “Um, yeah. Grilling, I uh…sure. Barbecue. ” And take a right turn in my way home.

THIS, folks, is why I deserve to be single.