I only think I live alone

So the giant mosquitos are still a problem. I’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to work (Raid is useless!!! but I’ve succeeded in killing one with hairspray). My arms are all covered with mosquito bites and right now I’m just thankfull they don’t like my face.

Since I live alone, I had to devise a way to deal with this. So, my brilliant mind has come up with the most genius of plans. I TRAP the mosquito under a bowl. Preferably clear glass. Hopefully tossing with aim accurate enough from four feet away to land right on top of it. And then, I just wait until it starves to death. I’ll leave that bowl there for weeks if I have to. I don’t care.

Now I say clear glass because there have been times when I’ve trapped insects under something opaque, and when, three weeks later I went to remove the bowl, I found nothing NOTHING underneath. Oh. My. God. That just means it’s waiting somewhere in a dark recess of my apartment to do the crawl up my nose, eggs, dinner party thing.

I know it sounds cruel to starve an insect to death, especially an insect big enough to pay me rent, but then, it’s also cruel to stab it with a random magazine. And really, why get mosquito insides on my pretty fashion magazines? So now, I have a pet. A pet on death row. I think I’ll name him Boris.