Not working for Satan.INC anymore. Y-freakin’-EY

Yup, that’s right. Just quit today. Well, not yet sure if I’d quit or got fired, but does it really matter? You should have seen Chris’ fucked up face when I left. P to the R to the ICE to the LESS.

Ok so this is how it was. I was working as usual, minding my own business and waiting for the girl who was supposed to switch shifts with me…and Chris comes and hands me a stupid sticker, which said “I need you to work on these two nights: august 30th and 31st“. I was like…I don’t know… I guess I just found it hilarious that Satan actually thinks I’m going to take orders on a sticker…from her…telling me to work for her two fucking nights, when she very well knows I have a night job which I totally love and which I would never blew off for her. Ok, so I go to her and explain the situation like “Chris, you know I have another job, I can’t work on night shifts“. And she freaks out. “What do you mean you can’t work?!? May I remind you that this is your first contract and you should make your other schedule AFTER you ask my opinion?“.

OH MY GOD. I had so many things on my tongue, that I didn’t really know what to begin with. “Ok, Chris, I do have a contract, does that make me your freakin’ slave? I’m employed in the morning shifts and I can do whatever my ass wants with my night. I don’t really care if you need people in the night shifts, that’s your problem, that’s why you’re paied twice as I am. I almost begged for more hours in June, when I didn’t have money for my rent, and you only gave me 4 mornings a week, saving the rest of the days for your lazy and way to many american employees. NOW you want me to work 7 mornings and 2 nights? You’re freakin’ crazy if you think I’m the obedient kind. Go order you’re loving american team to work nights. Oh, I forgot…YOU CAN’T. Cuz they’re all going to college next week and they’re all quiting on monday. Nice work, Einstein!“.

And she goes like “Oh. ah. I’m trying to do you a favor and give you as many hours as you need, because I know you need more hours, and how do you pay me?“.

G.O.D. YOU…are doing me a favor? You’re kidding, right? You’re only giving me more hours cuz you’re desperate. Like…I know I look stupid most of the time, but I ain’t. I know the americans are all leaving. Well guess what? Boo-fucking-hoo. I don’t need your stupid hours anymore and you can keep all your favors to yourself.

And she goes “FINE! if you’re not going to respect me, you might as well live right now, I’ll find somebody else!“. And then, my friends, is when I just started to laugh. And I was laughing so hard, that for the first time, she just didn’t know what to say for a few seconds. She was like “what are you doing? stop laughing”. I swear to God, I couldn’t help it, I had to say it: “Well, Chris? Did you check your office for job applications lately? no? here’s a hint: Z E R O. Nobody wants to work for you.“

So, after 15 minutes of fighting, the girl who was supposed to switch shifts with me comes. And Chris starts to scream at her, like ‘Do you believe this girl? I’m trying to do her a favor and she treats me like shit. That’s the problem with the human specie- they don’t appreciate it when somebody’s making efforts to please them. Cause, let me tell you something, I tried to make you happy all this time, since your first day here, and that’s how you pay me? I really want this to work out, but with this attitude, I don’t think things are going to work between us and I’ll have to let you go“.

DUDE! I was like…Am I getting fired, or are you breaking up with me?

Then she goes “And stop laughing!!!“. Seriously now…If I had stoped laughing I would have choped her head off. “Well if you find this so amusing, you just can laugh your way out“.

WELL. WATCH. ME. LEAVE.   bitch