It’s not the size that counts, it’s…no, wait, size DOES count!

I am so very sorry I can’t take a picture of Chris. But you’ll have to take my word for it, she’s a midget. Like…Have you ever seen a grown-up chimp female next to a grown-up human female? well…in this case I’m the human female.

So you can imagine my shock, my surprise, my utter astonishment when Chris pretended to be a normal size grown-up HUMAN; when she actually had the guts to say she’s the same size as I am!

Chris: Before you end your shift I need you to move the chocolate sprinkles boxes from the upper shelf to a lower one, so we can reach it better.

Me: Ok.

Chris (following me): You should use this step stool, otherwise you won’t be able to reach the boxes.

Me (astonished): Actually, I think I’ll be ok.

Chris : No, really, you should use this, I can never reach the boxes without using the step stool and I’m the same size as you are.

Me (uber-shocked): EXCUSE ME?

This from a woman who uses the step stool even when she has to use the toilet? NO, we’re not the same size!

Chris (already getting on my nerves): Here you go…just step on it.

Me: No thank you. (And if you don’t move out the way, maybe I’ll consider steping on YOU).

It was kind of cute watching Chris pretend she’s a normal-size human being. But then again, it kind of wasn’t. So I reached for the first box and handle it to her. “Here you go, see how easy it was?”.

Chris: Oh, I don’t know how you did that, you should be carefull not to hurt your back muscles. I can’t believe you can reach it, this is strange, isn’t it?

Yes, completelly bizarre. Now shoo.

Chris (obviously not giving up): Maybe your sneakers have high-platform..

C’MOOON!!! How sixth grade can you get? I’m taller, I’m smarter, I have bigger boobs, get over it!

Chris (satisfied with the fact that she had the last word in our little conversation): Ok then, I’ll leave the step stool here, just in case you need it.

Thanks, Captain Dwarf, sir!