So what are we going to do tonight, Brain? Same thing we do every night, Pinky…

So I decided to take over the world. Of course, I’ll wait ’til tomorrow to do this, but tonight I need a strategy that doesn’t require too much time or effort. So here it is:

My easy-7-step Plan to World Domination:

Step1: Build a discreet hideout in an abandoned russian factory, placed in the middle of nowhere.

Step2: Kidnap at least 100 children from an orphanage and make them my slaves. Then train them to adress me as “The Great and Generous Master”.

Step3: Hire some genius crazy scientists to train an army of mosquitos to attack anyone I want. If they refuse, kidnap their kids and threaten to enslave them.

Step4: Move my secret lab in a country that has abundant oil reserves and wait for the U.S.A. to attack, justifying their actions by calling me a terrorist.

Step5: Get really mad and send my mosquitos to kill U.S.A.’s president. The Secret Service won’t know what hit them!

Step6: Move my secret lab inside the White House and become president of the U.S.A. therefore ruler of this world!!!

Step7: Scream loudly : MuhahaHAHA muderfukers!

Additional (and optional) Step: Release all orphans and give them candy.

My PC is like…retarded.

.

I think any day now my computer will decide to officially hate me and shut down. Luckily I thought in advance and uploaded all my important files onto a back up disk. HA fooled you this time computer!!!! MUAH HA HA HA!

Hasta la Vista Microsoft

Ok, poate inca sunt un n00b in ceea ce priveste calculatoarele, dar aici cred ca am dreptate. Vista sux socks. Big time.

Vreau sa scap de conserva de calculator pe care o am acum si sa-mi iau un laptop. Oamenii vor sa fie generosi si sa-mi instaleze gratis Vista. Dupa ce-am folosit XP-ul atata timp, mi-ar fi placut o schimbare, dar inainte sa-mi bag mortul in casa, am trecut pe la un prieten care foloseste Vista de cateva luni. Of course, nefiind un software geek, mi-am prins urechile.

Basically, it’s still Windows, dar mi-a luat o gramada de timp sa ma obisnuiesc cu toate “inovatiile” pe care le-au adus acesti eggheads din imperiul Gates. Nu reusesc sa inteleg de ce-mi trebuie de trei ori mai multe resurse pentru EXACT aceleasi chestii pe care mi le ofera si XP-ul. Am incercat sa ma descurc apeland la sistemul “Help” care, din pacate, este mai prost decat in Windows XP; nu stiu cum au reusit.

A, si am mai observat ceva, daca hotaraste ca trebuie un upgrade, inchide toate aplicatiile indiferent daca le-am salvat sau nu si-si da reboot. WTF?!? Sper ca se intampla doar pe pc’ul prietenului meu, pentru ca daca asa functioneaza Vista pe toate pc’urile, Gates sufera de o bizara dorinta suicidala. Bineintles ca programelele mele de baza, de care depinde viata mea si pe care le-as lua pe o insula pustie, sunt INCOMPATIBILE cu noua minune Vista. Fiecare optiune pe care o manifesti trebuie confirmata de prea multe ori, pentru orice deschidere de fisier apare obositorul “do you want to?” , apoi yes no, apoi “are you sure?”, apoi iar yes no, apoi “well, i DID warn you”….pana te aduce pe culmile disperarii. Sunt pentru securitate si toate astea, dar hai fuck off! They seem to think I’m truly stupid.

“Search-ul” e retard tare, in sensul ca pot cauta doar dupa tag-uri. Lor li se pare o idee geniala, mie NU.

Si sunt mai multe chestii, dar cred ca ati prins ideea. Whatever, Vista clearly doesn’t work for me.